Am I Bipolar? If so what type do I have? My question is – do you think I am Bipolar, and if so which sort do I probably have? Bipolar I, Bipolar II, Cyclothymic Disorder, or “Bipolar Not Otherwise Specified”? Both myself and my partner strongly suspect I have Bipolar Disorder, and I don’t say that lightly as a “trendy” thing, we do know something about it from witnessing it in people we’ve known plus one of my friends is a Psychiatric Nurse. I’ve had both Depression and Anxiety since I was 15 (I’m 42 now), and been treated with various anti-depressants on and off for most of that period, both SSRIs and the old Tetracycline types. I stopped taking Anti-Depressants a few years ago because it didn’t feel like they were working any more and they were taking away my motivation to do things and making me sleepy. I’ve also had intense counselling over that period and “sorted things out”, but have come to the conclusion my moods aren’t necessarily caused by the past, it’s just they way I am, and understanding the past hasn’t stopped my moods occurring. In more recent times, say the last 5 years, I have developed other symptoms too, I’m aware of the existence of different types of Bipolar Disorder, mainly Bipolar I and Bipolar II but whatever is wrong with me doesn’t fit either of those exactly. I sometimes have “Pure” Depression, sometimes Hypomania (a less severe form of Mania) – happy, positive mood, extrovert, enthusiastic, a bit loud, chatty about lots of different things & sociable. Plus sometimes I have “Agitated Depression” where I’m very down but restless and irritable and unable to think straight or get much done, or sometimes a “Mixed state”, where I’m both depressed and anxious but also (and I’m a bit embarrassed by this) constantly wanting to have sex or feeling I “need something,”and being busy doing lots of things. I tend to get a bit obsessed at times and also have difficulty keeping things in perspective and over-react with hysterical crying when upset. I DON’T go on wild spending sprees or get grandiose or rant in the street, so I don’t think I have Bipolar I. My moods aren’t as extreme as they are in some people, but they do change rapidly, sometimes every few hours, sometimes every few days. I periodically suffer from bouts of Insomnia where I have difficulty getting to sleep or I keep waking up. I take herbal sleeping tablets when I get like this and they work quite well. It’s important for me to sleep well, because if I get sleep deprived I tend to have low-grade hallucinations ( feeling of being touched or something brushing past me, also hearing incoherent but quiet chatter of voices/whispers or sounds, plus seeing bright colours as I breathe in and out). I’m aware that these experiences are “not real” when they are happening; I never lose contact with reality. If I get very upset and worked up I do sometimes tend to feel a bit paranoid, I deal with this by going to rest in my room on my own with as little stimulation as possible; I usually feel better a couple of hours later. I used to have to stop watching certain programmes on the TV because they were a trigger for it, but I’m a lot better now. The “Paranoia” I get now only happens occasionally and is mild; it may or may not be your “Classical” Paranoia but it is still the worse feeling in the world. A couple of years ago I was very bad (Postnatal Depression after the birth of my child). The delivery and aftercare was traumatic so I also had flashbacks (a very, very unpleasant experience). The doctor prescribed me an SSRI (which I did use to take years ago), but this time they made me restless so I stopped taking them. He then prescribed me Prozac but this caused a really bad anxiety attack, the worst one I have ever had, so I never took it again. My moods are not as extreme as they used to be but they still trouble me. I tend to feel worse if my iron levels get low so I take iron tablets (prescribed by doctor). I’ve cut out virtually all caffeine (only have one cup of regular tea a day first thing in morning), and only drink small amounts of alcohol when going out, and I think this helps. The situation now is that I have just left things as they are. My doctor has never mentioned the word “Bipolar” but to be honest I think GPs don’t have enough training in that field, they are more familiar with your classic Depression or people who “get a bit anxious”. I have never been referred to a Psychiatrist, I could push for this but don’t feel like doing it, talking too much about it makes me feel worse and I get an idea in my head that I won’t be believed anyway. My partner is concerned about me but I’ve promised him if I get worse I will go back to the GP and try to get something done. I’m mainly coping with it, I look after myself and my family just fine and everyone has what they need, my partner is sympathetic and supportive, but I wish I wasn’t like this!